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Glamour only radiates if there is a sublime courage & bravery within: glamour is like the moon; it only shines because the sun is there.
A friend asked me recently, “Tonya, will you teach me how to be glamourous?” At first, I giggled. Number one: I think my friend is the quintessential lady, so I was at a loss as to what she wanted me to teach her. Number two: growing up in the Deep South in a trailer home, I wasn’t born into a world of prestige where Champagne and caviar were weekly treats. Instead, I grew up on sweet tea and fried chicken. That doesn’t necessarily qualify me to be a glamour teacher…or does it?
The point: If I can create a glamourous life, so can you.
And, let’s face it ladies:
I don’t care where you come from, live or your past, you can be a truly glamorous lady!
So, let’s dive into the world of glamour, shall we?
When you think of glamour, what comes to mind?
For me, I think of Paris. The city, itself, oozes glamour — full of understated elegance, an intoxicating enchantment and a romanticism that asks people to consider a different way to live.
That’s the thing with glamour — it “holds an attractive and exciting quality that makes certain people or things seem appealing or special.”
The word glamour comes from the Scottish term gramarye which means magic, enchantment or spell.
Contrary to popular belief, glamour is not all about fashion and makeup. Sure, it’s part of the allure, and yet I’ve known of women who have a closet full of Chanel and perfectly winged eyeliner who aren’t very glamorous.
Glamour is an energy of mystery and grace, transcending the ordinary taking us on a beautiful journey into enchantment.
Think of the subtle nature of Audrey Hepburn, Princess Diana and Grace Kelly — an unspoken allure that draws you in wanting to know more.
What I’ve come to learn about glamour is that it’s all about seeing yourself and the world through the eyes of charm.
So, if you are craving to live glamorously (even when shuttling your kids to soccer practice or doing the laundry), here are 10 ways to do it:
- Decide on the kind of world you desire to live and create it for yourself. I’m not going to wait until I live in Paris to make it my state of mind. I’m not going to wait until I’m a millionaire to enjoy the luxuries of life. And, I’m not going to wait for someone’s permission to create a life I love. I know the feeling of the world I desire to live in. Each day, I create the essence of that world for myself.
- Have an Air of Mystery. Transparency seems to be a popular term these days, giving people permission to spew their personal issues all over the web and with complete strangers. Others operate behind brick walls, not letting anyone see the real person they are. Neither is glamorous. Share enough to intrigue and inspire and not so much that you give away your own sacredness. My rule of thumb: share only when you have something valuable to offer.
- Invest in the Details of Your Life. Glamour is all about casting a spell (or feeling) into your everyday life. Artisan soaps, decadent candles, a beautiful place setting, sensual music and flowers in the home, just to name a few, are an affordable access into glamorous living. Truly, it’s often the little things that feel the most glamorous.
- Create a Secret Garden. Glamourous ladies have struggles too, which is why it’s important for every woman to have her secret garden of mentors and close friends where she can openly share in a safe space. As Brené Brown says, ““If we share our shame story with the wrong person, they can easily become one more piece of flying debris in an already dangerous storm.” Flying debris and glamour don’t go together.
Here’s a playlist I made just yesterday to infuse a little glamour into an ordinary day:
- Edit Your Life. The mistake that many people make in striving for a more glamourous life is packing it with excess. Unfortunately, this leads very little space for magic and enchantment. Instead, it creates the antithesis of glamour: more overwhelm, responsibility and stress. Glamour is magnified within simplicity.
- Dress the Part. Yes, glamour is so much deeper than style. However, wearing sweat pants every day will never lead to a feeling of glamour. How you feel about yourself inside is expressed into everything you do, including how you dress. Wear beautiful lingerie, your grandmother’s pearls or anything that transcends the ordinary. And, a great pair of sunglasses is always glamorous.
- Cultivate Your Calm. There is nothing glamorous about being a stressed out, hurried, overwhelmed and dramatic lady. Learn to breathe and be in control of your mind, not letting it control you. Get the support and tools to create this inner peace. Without it, a glamourous life will be but a dream. If you’d like some elegant mantras, read these.
- Fall in Love. The root of glamour is romanticism. A woman in love with her life is alluring and intoxicating. Her energy magnetizes people, opportunities and so much more.
- Cultivate Your Mind. Indulge your mind in the arts, culture, music, anything that inspires and expands your intellectual growth. A woman who can speak another language (even if it’s just a bit), quote Proust or go in depth about the era of Jazz will surely enrapture her audience. Glamour is about figuring out what lights you up and bathing your mind in it.
- Don’t Obsess over your Looks. While it’s important to present yourself in a way that feels good to you, it’s not glamourous to obsess over it. I’m sure you know of that woman who only focuses on her external appearance to the detriment of truly connecting with the magic of her life and others.
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