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I just spent an hour on the phone with a very dear friend of mine. She is a successful entrepreneur; bright and beautiful; and has a mindset that allows her to be unstoppable. While she could achieve just about anything she put her mind to, there is a lot of resistance in her life because the one thing that she has focused on– more than anything– has led to a problem… a big problem. This problem– which many of us can relate to– has caused strain on her health, her relationships, her self, and her emotional well being. In honesty, her life is suffering.

What… (You’re probably wondering) is the problem?

Work, overwork, and devoting more energy into creating a business than creating a life.

I often hear her say (and you might relate to this): “I work all the time and I can never seem to get ahead.”

The most heartbreaking part is, despite her brilliance and talent, she wants to give up.  She’s created something that feels unsustainable.

In my business, I often attract women who voice very similar concerns about their lives. Their main goals and focuses have been making more money, losing weight, and finding true love. Sometimes, they are looking for all three.

There are many programs out there with great offerings: “Find your true love;” “Make your first six-figure salary;” or “Lose 10 pounds in 10 days.” Women who come to me have tried these promises, spent the money, and still struggle with unhappiness and longing.

So, I’m here to break down the problem. The heart of the matter is the search. These women, and many others, are looking for the wrong thing.

I’d be the first to tell you I was focused on the wrong things for years and have been part of this toxic cycle. It’s exhausting. Even worse, it can push away what we desire most.

A decade of my life was spent trying to lose weight. And as long as that was my focus, I was getting nowhere. There were always  ten more pounds to lose.

The first two years of my business, I was focused solely on generating revenue. Yes, my bank account increased but was I any happier? No. If anything, the stress and worry were affecting my life adversely. I would stay awake at night asking myself: How am I going to keep this up?

And… love. What I have learned from a lot of trial and error is that love will find you when you stop looking outwardly for it and rather focus your attention within… and on yourself.

Everything– and I mean everything– transformed when I chose to make a shift in my life and reevaluate my desires and what I was really looking for. I shifted my focus by asking myself these 5 questions every day:  

1.  Was my day filled with joy, ease and beauty?

2.  Did I take inspired action (action out of love and joy; not fear and desperation)

3.  Did I do the best I can with what I know and have?

4.  Did I have fun and celebrate?

5.  Did I love?

This is how I began to create a luxurious life.

I changed my focus from striving to making every day beautiful.

If I were to drive myself mad and lose light of the beauty in life, was having this season’s Louis Vuitton worth it? If I worked 15-hour days and had no time for myself and loved ones, was my 6-figure salary worth it?

Now, here’s the magical piece:  The choice I made to focus on making each day beautiful and full of ease attracted my desires but with much more fun and natural magnetism.  (I have my purses and I work four days a week).

How do you do it? I’ll explain how I did…

I stopped seeking money and focused on adding value to each day by creating things I love – art, community, memories, inspiration and adventure. I also created a daily practice of gratitude.

I stopped trying to losing weight and instead focused on vitality, pleasure, health, beautiful dinners to appreciate, ecstatic movement and dance, and play.

I stopped seeking love that someone else would give me and started focusing on loving myself, and having true connections with community through vulnerability, authenticity, femininity, passion, and joy.

I stopped waiting for beautiful days to find me and instead committed to having dinners by candlelight, dressing my best each day, listening to inspiring music, connecting with friends often and

Most importantly, I stopped looking at life as a race, always trying to get to the next finish line, never satisfied. Instead, I made a conscious decision to saunter at my own pace (usually with Champagne in hand).

You may wonder, can I have health and love while still maintaining a healthy income?

Absolutely.

Women can, and should, have bodies they love to flaunt in that cute black dress.

Women can, and should, have ease and fun while earning financial abundance.

Women can, and should, honor themselves while cultivating and cherishing relationships.

How? Change your focus:

Want a financial breakthrough? First, take inventory of the riches you already possess.

Want to lose weight? Lose the self-loathing.

Want to find love? First, love yourself.

Want elegance?  Simplify, simplify, simplify!

Want to go on an adventure? Find excitement in your every day life.

Want more luxury?  Begin adding and savoring beauty in an ordinary day.

Want to feel beautiful?  Wear beautiful lingerie.

Want to find your purpose?  Stop seeking it and follow what lights you up.

Want to make a million bucks?  Treat yourself like you’re worth it.

Want to impact the world?  Share your passions.

Want to live a exquisite life?  Stop settling and making excuses and make today beautiful.

Do you want peace in your life? Stop convincing yourself that it will somehow, someday get better when you are wealthier, skinnier, or in a relationship.

These shifts in focus will always lead you back to making today, not tomorrow, the best day of your life.   And, trust me, it will also lead to your desire to live an exquisite, joyful life.

In the words of a French friend of mine: “Stop chasing life and let life mesmerize you.”

Choose to make today beautiful. <tweet it>  I promise, you’ll attract more than you ever thought possible with this approach.  You’ll become a woman full of joie de vivre.  And, as I love to say,

“A happy woman is a magnet to her desires.”

Share in the comments below:

Where has your focus been?

Where does it need to be to create a truly French Kissed Life?

xoxo,

Signature

Tonya

(P.S. This will probably be the longest P.S. in history, but I like breaking records.

Many women feel that they can create their desires alone, in a vacuum.   But, it’s almost impossible.  You are buried in your story, the people around you, and the way you see the world.

That’s exactly why I created the French Kiss the World Society.  It’s a one-of-a-kind lifestyle mastermind, where we focus on your entire life – your confidence, style, self-care, self-worth, unique talents, and dreams – everything that impacts your business, health, relationships and quality of life.

We are an exclusive group of women who are committed to living nothing short of luxurious lives. We think that personal and business growth pairs best with travel, food and wine, inspiring conversations, and most of all, an attitude of ease, style and elegance.  We want to feel fully alive each and every day!

We are accepting applications now and will be conducting interviews over the next week.  You have nothing to lose and everything to gain! Check it out and get your application turned in.)

If you want to read what women are saying, click here.)

 

 

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