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In my home, the books I read, the clothes I wear, the places I go and the people I surround myself with. I’m always asking myself this telling question: Does this represent the next evolution of you? <TWEET THIS> We are not on this beautiful earth to just work, pay bills and die.  It’s in our DNA to expand, learn and grow. And, because I don’t want to fight Mother Nature, I’ve learned to go with the process.
This means that I outgrow the things around me that don’t evolve, such as clothes, books and sometimes people.  This used to sadden me, as I deeply wanted to grow and, at the same time, keep things the same.  That’s like putting a vibrant tulip in hard clay without water and expecting it to grow.  We know what happens.  It dies.
So, I’m constantly accessing for the hard clay in my life — things that feel heavy, constricting and restricts my growth.
A while back during my epic closet cleanse, there were many pieces that represented the woman I was over a decade ago.  The biggest culprit was a hot pink tennis skirt that I wore at the country club.  Today, I’m just not a country club and hot pink kind of girl (but I still love tennis).  I donated the skirt and many other bags to the local thrift store.
When I cleaned my bookshelf years ago, it was filled with diet and self help books.  (Did you ever own The Atkins Diet Book?)  The woman I wanted to be didn’t waste her precious energy on dieting.  She read beautiful novels and Town & Country.  I edited my shelves of anything that didn’t excite and inspire me. Now, my book shelf is full of books on travel and fashion as well as biographies and the classics.
When I discovered the dehydrator during my move, it represented a whole other era of crazy eating patterns.  I gave it away and bought a Nespresso machine instead.
I continue to discover things of the woman I was, not the woman I’m becoming.
And, this is to be expected, as I’m constantly evolving.
Guess what?
So are you.
Share in the comments what items you have in your home that no longer represent who you are becoming.
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I live in a city/country where nothing about it is conducive to the woman I am and the woman I am becoming. Everything about this country represents the woman I was 10 years ago. I am very eager to leave, but I have not figured out how to go about such major change. Good article as always. Merci.
Thank you for this post--it's a very timely read for me. I had a HUGE closet cleanse just a few days ago, which amounted to me shedding over half of its contents that had built up over the past several years. It felt GREAT to rid myself of the excess that was cluttering my life, but it actually left me feeling unexpectedly melancholy for the rest of the evening as well, which brings to light another perspective: removing extra "stuff" that represents the past is like shedding skin, and I think for some women it's normal to briefly mourn the former self as you say goodbye to her. The important thing is to keep moving forward and investing in the current, vibrant, fabulous self that you're cultivating!
thank you....I was just thinking my closet needed a makeover. Time to let some items go to make room for the new. Same with my dressers. Since joining your teachings over a year ago, I've also grown out of the town I live in, like one of the other FKL members. Because of my love for family and a job I have here in this little town, I've added the pleasure of little get a way trips to my life. Although not my long term plan, this is a great way to find pleasure in the life I do have. The best of both worlds until my desires are strong enough for change.
I used to read Town & Country as a young girl, even though the way I grew up was very far removed from that lifestyle. But now, as an adult, my lifestyle is a lot closer to the one I used to dream about. This is one of my favorite quotes:
"If one advances confidently in the direction of their dreams, and endeavors to live the life which they have imagined, they will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
Ralph Waldo Emerson
I love this question. "Does this represent the next evolution of you?" as I've been letting go of clothes and books this past week.... I've been asking "does this spark joy?" from Marie Kondo AND I've let go of so much. took 5 big bags to Goodwill today. and more tomorrow. and yet... on those in between items, should I keep, should I let go. When I ask does this represent the next evolution of me, it helps give me the courage to trust in letting it go. yikes! and let's see what the universe brings next =) We have to let go of the past in order to make room for the new.
Isn't it funny how things work?
I have been striving to live my words - Minimal, Sustainable, Luxury. A change from Simple, Frugal,Beauty, my previous words.
It has been frustrating as I envision what I want and I seem so far from my goal, my next evolution!
And yet, I came back this evening from a night at our little weekend farm. We sleep in a tent, eat and work in a little shed, take everything we need there and home again in the boot of our car. I plant and cultivate, rarely buying new items.
It does seem like I am already living my dream, doesn't it? Maybe not full time, but totally immersed and loving it!
What a wonderful and timely post. I literally just cleaned out my closet last Saturday, with one and only one criterion for each item of clothing: "Does this spark joy in my life?" It took a leap of faith, as my closet was a little lean to start with, and I was scared of not having enough (a theme in other areas of my life to-date -- working on it, LOL!). But this morning, getting ready for work, I realized that I could choose anything from the closet and feel beautiful. AND, I've been scared to lose those last 8 pounds because I wouldn't fit into my clothes anymore... Now, I have eliminated that petty excuse. Thank you for adding additional insight into this and other areas of my life. You are a gift, Tonya!
Tonya,
Love your always inspiring posts! They remind me to give myself permission to love what I love and want what I want. Keep them coming. Clearing out the old and welcoming in the new most authentic version of me. And Oh one more thing....I will be keeping my dehydrator! ; ) Love variety in foods