100 Ways to Have a Love Affair with Life

Ooh la la…Mary Oliver’s quote gets me every time.  I remember the first time I heard it was at a dinner table in the South of France when an Irishman recited it word for word. It struck a deep nerve within me, because up until then I had ignored my deep desires and spent most of my time trying to rearrange my external world – trying to lose weight, have the perfect relationship and make more money – to offer me relief.  As a result, I was constantly overwhelmed, worried and anxious about my future. Life felt more like an enemy to be conquered than a lover to be adored.

Something had to change, and that something was the relationship I had with life.

Having worked as a critical care nurse and being present with people on their deathbeds, I have a deep understanding of what life is truly about, and contrary to what people try to convince you, it’s not about making 6 or 7 figures, being a size 2 or finding the perfect relationship.    None of these things guarantee you a full life.

Yet, if those are your desires (and there’s nothing wrong with wanting what you want; I happen to love luxury, being fit and great relationships), falling in love with life, as it is right now, is the secret to attracting it all – with ease, grace and joie de vivre.  

If you want your life to change, change how you treat your life! (tweet it)

Because . . .

When You French Kiss Life, Life Kisses You Back!

Here are some ways I’m having a love affair with life:

• Say thank you often

• Eat what I want without guilt (I also lost weight with this approach)

• Dance every day

• Keep fresh flowers in your home

• Flirt

• Invest in good linens

• Do something that scares you every day

• Create your unique definition of success

• Kiss a lot

• Wear fine lingerie

• Create beautiful spaces to enjoy

• Wake up each morning and envision your day

• Go to bed celebrating your successes

• Keep a gratitude journal

• Take yourself on a date – get dressed up, reserve the best table at the best restaurant and enjoy your own company

• Dress up, even in little ways, each day (a great accessory, beautiful shoes or a stunning scarf)

• Take a different route to work (mix things up a little to break out of the daily rut)

• Find your signature scent

• Throw a dinner party

• Write love letters on beautiful stationery

• Host a game night

• Visit a museum

• Stop using excuses as a way to settle

• Exercise daily, even if it’s just 15 minutes

• Mix it up and try something new in the bedroom (don’t treat sex like a chore)

• If you don’t have a partner, please yourself

• Forgive those who have hurt you (no need to continue hurting yourself)

• Always be willing to grow and change

• Go to Sunday brunch with your girlfriends

• Create plans that excite you

• Simplify, simplify, simplify

• Spend money on things you truly value

• Trust your instincts

• Allow yourself to feel fully

• Stop being so serious; be a little playful

• Surprise someone with a small gift

• Break the rules; make your own

• Don’t be a copycat; create from your divine heart

• Practice living in the moment

• Go to Paris

• Meet friends for Happy Hour

• Volunteer

• Pack a picnic, grab a book and head to secret spot

• Visit the dog park

• Plant a garden

• Cook a 5-course meal and spend 3 hours savoring your creation

• Learn to accept and love your body (as it is right now)

• Leave a $5 bill stuffed in an area of the grocery store to be found

• Place lavender drops on your pillowcase at night

• Use your fancy china on an ordinary night

• Pick your favorite era and spend the day pretending that you’ve stepped back in time

• Go skinny dipping

• Unplug from technology once a week

• Spend a day doing only what you absolutely desire

• Connect with someone new (new people mean new perspectives)

• Be Charming

• Stay out of everyone else’s business (their opinions, beliefs and drama)

• Cuddle…with your partner, kids, friends or pet

• Send BIG love energy to everyone you encounter today

• Wear something that you’d normally not wear (hat, scarves, big fancy sunglasses)

• Through out the day, stop and wink at the sky and say merci!

• Have a tarot reading

• Order something from the menu you’ve never tasted

• Learn a new sport (tennis, croquet, ping pong)

• Buy decadent soaps

• Buy the most luxurious chocolate you can find, pour yourself a cup of tea and savor every bite

• Look for beauty in everything

• Take 5 things off your to-do list and replace it with something  you really want to do

• Look for miracles in everything – the unpredictable, heartbreaks, perceived failures . . . they are there if you seek them

• Choose do go about your daily tasks with passion – from cleaning the toilet to paying bills

• Allow yourself to cry when you need a good cry

• Take responsibility for your own happiness and fulfillment

• Stop complaining and gossiping

• Learn a new language

• Paint or draw; open up the channels of creativity

• Stop hanging out with energy drainers

• Eat only the best of whatever you choose to eat – aka no crap

• Be a little wild and unpredictable

• Each morning, choose who you want to BE first, then what you want to DO

• Have a secret garden

• Stop comparing.  There is only one you, and that’s a pretty special place to be

• Learn how to leisurely hustle – moments of massive inspired action followed by moments pure leisure

• Get outside and get some Vitamin D – one of the greatest epidemics of our time is lack of sunshine

• Throw away all your self-help books that make you feel like you’re broken; you’re not! Read something like this instead

• For the love of God, stop the insane dieting; when you’re in love, you naturally eat a little less and move a little more – focus on LOVE

• Stop the 100% productivity mode.  I’m giving you permission to not be so productive.  You may find that taking that pressure off leads to smarter productivity

• What did you love to do when you were little? Do that!

• Hang out with fellow life lovers – those who curate fascinating and inspiring conversations

• Don’t follow trends; create your own

• Tell someone she’s awesome

• Always choose kindness, especially towards yourself

• Write a love letter to life

• Dream every day

• Put your wishes in a bottle and release them into a river

• Understand your triggers and patterns so you can elegantly navigate them

• Always ask yourself: how can I make this fun?

• Be open to the mystery of life; rigidity may lead to certain outcomes, but it will never lead to adventure and the good stuff of life

• When in doubt, always, always follow your heart

• And, if you’re going to have a love affair with life, put on some lipstick and pucker up.

Want to add to the list? I’d love to know how you are having a love affair with life in the comments below.

Tonya