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Wherever you are, and whatever you do, be in love.
Steve Jobs suggested, “Live each day as if it was your last.” Well, that sounds all fine and dandy, but if I knew that it was my last day, honestly, I’d be a wreck — crying and snotting all over everyone with waves of anxiety. I’m pretty sure I’d do some stupid things, like give away all my possessions, and I’d definitely not be working.
I get the gist of this question, but I don’t want to live each day with death lingering in the back of my mind and doing irrational things (because trust me, if it were my last day, I’d through all logic and reason out the window).
So, I needed a new question to inspire me to live fully with panache without it involving my own death and reckless behavior.
After mulling over what that question could be, I consulted with my 90-year old self and how she would want me to live my life today, and here’s the question she asked me:
How would you treat today if it was your lover? (tweet it)
Seriously think about it. Imagine who you’d be if you woke up each day like you were greeting a thoughtful and passionate beau, like you were in deep love.
Now, I love you all, but some of you are waking up to life like it’s Jack the Ripper — full of fear and anxiety, waiting for doom around every corner.
Others of you are waking up to no one (metaphorically) with an aloofness and lack of attention to your life – wearing your PJs all day and giving no thought to how you’re showing up.
How can you expect life to deliver opportunities, resources and experiences to you if you’re not treating him well? How can you call in beauty, passion and elegance if you don’t put in the effort?
Let’s get back to the question: How would you treat today if it was your lover?
Imagine what your first thoughts of the day would be. Not ones of dread but those of excitement and passion.
How would you dress? Sweatpants? Or your very best.
How would you work? With a packed calendar and no room to breath? Or with intention and focus, leaving leisure time to enjoy your life (and dressed well, bien sur).
How would you eat? Not rushing through a fast food meal, but savoring every morsel of your food (without guilt).
How would you walk and carry yourself? Slumped shoulders and head down or erect posture and an assured confidence?
How would you see “challenges”? Not as a sign that life is out to get you but as life handing you opportunities to learn and grow.
How would you be? Not fixated on the past or fretting over the future, but present. When we’re with lovers, there’s no other place we want to be, right?
How would you take risks? Well, when we’re in love, we’re bolder, passionate and more courageous than when we’re not, so my guess is that you’d be more willing to take chances and declare what you want.
I believe if you treat today like it was your lover, then today will wrap his arms around you and take you on a grand adventure.
So, here’s my challenge for you: wake up tomorrow morning and ask yourself this simple question and show up for your life — fully, passionately, elegantly — and treat it like your lover.
Be in love…with your coffee, the smile on your child’s face, the paperwork, the dirty dishes, the face that stares back at you in the mirror, your clients, your boss, the traffic, the warm water that showers your body, your car, the music, the wind, the bird’s chirping, the sky, your bed…love it all!
Why? Because love always feels better and there is always something to love.
What or who are you in love with right now? What if you chose to fall in love with all of it?
Do share.
With Love,
Tonya
(P.S. Right now, I am in total love with my cup of coffee. A dark French roast from our local coffee shop!).
(P.P.S. I’d also love if you share the “love” by using the cute red social media buttons below. Merci!)
The Self-Image Manifesto
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What an amazing shift this question creates! Absolutely love it and will use this frequently! I can see where applying this to so many things would really upgrade experiences.
Keep me posted Pat! This question will change everything :).
Oooo la la ~ * I say, planting the seed for others, "I am a woman having a love affair with Life *" And one of my personal delights is to visualize that I am actually bare from the waist up (as often as I possibly can remember *), present with Life like all the other wild animals and plant kingdom ~ truly juicy, present ~ ~ ~ in the dance, in the sacredness of it * . . . whether running errands, or in a meeting ~ or playing *
I love your thought and reminder Tonya ! And how delicious is that ! Lover * soo francais * . . . and this right on the wing for those of us who are finishing up our fabulously transformative process in these 10 weeks of your 'Slim, Chic, and Savvy' course !
Pure, sweeeet heart ~ you * And I bestow on you my Father's best accolade (as the Journalist/Editor - International Desk Editor for AP that he was) ~ you Tonya Leigh Rising are in deed prodigious ! Thanks for the modeling; the inspiration ! !
Deep thanks for those kind word Aaiyn! I absolutely LOVE having you in the Slim, Chic & Savvy community. Cheers to Love!
Oh Tonya, what a beautiful question to ask yourself everyday when you wake up! Being separated from a 10 year marriage, I just realized that I had lost or buried that lover (me) in all the drama and emotion of a crumbled life, but....I'm still here! You reminded me of all that blesses me with that question and I will begin to ask my lover that question every morning. Merci XOXO
Oh Sherry, that lover is definitely still there. Unleash her and watch your life change. xoxo
I am so glad I found you! This is a much more uplifting way to approach the day, and one I'm much more willing to think about. Thank you!
And, I'm so glad you found us too! Welcome to this wonderful community of bon vivants :). xoxo
Great post Tonya! How funny, I was just reading a poem by the mystic and poet, Kahlil Gibran, this morning on my bus ride to work before I read your email. Here is an excerpt:
You have been told also that life is darkness, and in your weariness you echo what was said by the weary.
And I say that life is indeed darkness save when there is urge,
And all urge is blind save when there is knowledge,
And all knowledge is vain save when there is work,
And all work is empty save when there is love;
And when you work with love you bind yourself to yourself, and to one another, and to God.
And what is it to work with love?
It is to weave the cloth with threads drawn from your heart,
even as if your beloved were to wear that cloth.
It is to build a house with affection,
even as if your beloved were to dwell in that house.
It is to sow seeds with tenderness and reap the harvest with joy,
even as if your beloved were to eat the fruit.
It is to charge all things you fashion with a breath of your own spirit,
And to know that all the blessed dead
are standing about you and watching.
Uncanny isn't it?! You are right, love is the greatest driving force in our life. What better motivator do we need?
What a beautiful poem Gaya. Thank you deeply for sharing. xoxo
I love this twist! I quite often weigh myself down with self recriminations based on the principal that life is short, am I doing my best, making the most of it, blah blah..? This is so much more inspiring! Thank you!!
Helena, I think that if you're 'in love', you're making the best of every moment! xoxo
Tonya,
I always love your posts and this one is perfect! Today, I am in love with the soft orange colored roses I picked up on my way home. Fresh and Beautiful! Tomorrow, I will be in love with a gift I've decided to give a coworker whom I adore!
Nicole
xoxo
NICOLE!!!! I've missed you lady! Cheers to being in love. xoxo
I love this! I'm saving it. 🙂 For some reason I feel this way every spring. I feel in love with everybody, everything, ever moment... But other times of the year it doesn't come as naturally.
Hi Lindsay, in Spring…everything is awakening! Our work is being in love when things are dying, shedding and dormant. Yes, that is our work. Sending you love! xoxo
Ha, I've always felt the same way about the adage to "live every day as if it were your last". That makes me feel desperate and anxious. BUT I am hopelessly in love with love, and the idea of making love to my day and letting it seduce me is DELICIOUS! Thanks for the suggestion. I will try it tomorrow.
xo
P.S. Which girl in the photo is Sarah? I'm guessing the one on the left. She looks a lot like you. 🙂
How did you know Steph? Yes, my Sarah, my feisty Aries daughter, is the one on the left :).
Loving my hair and thankful for my wonderful stylist this morning. I got my hair cut and color done last night and it looks and feels amazing!
Oh Regina, nothing like the feel of a fresh cut. Good Stylists are like the gods!
I am very happy that I came across your blog and reading your posts. I have been on a journey within myself for self improvement and to increase the quality of my life. This post gave me a deep insight on how I should approach my day. Basically it cleared my mind and now I am more aware of how I want to start my day. This is such an exciting idea and I can't wait to implement this into my morning ritual. Thanks so much.
I love that you make me think, but in a relaxing and optimistic way. Such an inspiring blog.
Oh, and I'm in love with my spa and building my empire 🙂 I'm very interested in French skincare and beauty in general. I would love if you did a post about your beauty regime and maintenance!