I watched her walk into the room. With every head turned, the space around us immediately went quiet as she sauntered down the long stairway, similar to a Cinderella-esque movie montage. She filled the room as an audible gasp of air was heard from everyone in her presence. Within minutes, people had gathered around her. Within hours, she had mesmerized and captivated everyone in the room.

Catherine, a Parisian friend of mine, was her name. She was not, by society’s standards, your classic beauty. Her face was cute, but quirky; she was approaching her 43rd birthday; and had some curves in her size 10 dress.

She was also the most stunning woman in the room.

Why? What did she possess that others didn’t? How was she able to enthrall everyone in the room by her presence alone? How could she confidently stand shoulder-to-shoulder with everyone there?

Because she had found the secret. It’s simple, really.

Beauty is an inside job that radiates out into everything that you do. (Tweet it!)

If you have ever desired to feel like the most beautiful and confident woman in the room or wondered what some people have that others don’t, this 3-part Beauty Manifesto is for you.

Take it easy and really digest the steps. Above all, remember that beauty comes from within and that in order for the world to see how lovely and sensational you are, you must first feel that for yourself.

And, above all, remember this:  there is room for every woman in the room to be the most beautiful.  

Are you ready? Let’s begin!

Step #1:  Start at the End.

When Henri Matisse sat down to paint, he envisioned his masterpiece hanging on a wall. When Hemingway picked up a pen and paper to compose a novel, he already knew its ending.

When you walk into a room, know what you want to experience and hold onto that intention.

A woman who nurtures her self-image understands that her life is her own creation. Waiting for others to make her feel beautiful, successful, empowered and worthy is simply not how she rolls.

Here’s another beauty secret:

Accountability is everything. Be responsible for your own life and emotional well-being. (Tweet it!)

This extends into how we dress, walk, eat, think, and show up for ourselves and those we love.

So, if you want to feel like the most beautiful woman in the room, start at the end and envision what you want to feel as though it already exists.

What does that look like? How does that feel? What’s different about the interactions you’d have in that state of mind? How would you dress? How would you carry yourself? What would your thought patterns be like?

Before I step foot into any social situation, I try to create the ending in my mind first. Be open in this process and allow what may organically happen to occur, but be confident and have an idea of what feeling you want to take away.

Plant the seed of intention and allow the pieces to form around you as you create your own experience.

As Lana Parilla has said: “You are where you need to be. Just take a deep breath.”

Step #2: View the Room as Your Personal Playground.

Imagine a playground.

Perhaps what comes to mind is the innocent beauty of children playing– full of curiosity, wonder, excitement and raw laughter.

They don’t seem to be held back by judgment or fear of messing up. In fact, they unabashedly seek out challenges and opportunities to learn and grow.

They just want to play and be part of a world full of wonder, play and fun.

Many women walk into a room and view it more like a war zone than a colorful playground to explore. Their minds are filled with ugly comparisons, inadequacies and the fear of judgment that restricts them from saying or wearing what they really want to and relying on false expectations instead.

As you may imagine, the energy of such thoughts and feelings strip a woman of her innate playfulness and her inner light that is the most effective part of her beauty.

When you walk into a room, don’t see it as a test. Choose to imagine it as your social playground and have fun.

Become curious about others, seek out conversations that inspire you, and don’t forget your most fabulous fashion accessory– your smile.

Take it from Audrey Hepburn: “Happy girls are the prettiest girls.”

Step #3: Create your own definition of beauty.

If your current standard of beauty is a 6-foot, 130-pound blonde and you’re a 5-foot, 140-pound brunette, that’s gonna need some changing. If that’s your current mindset, accept it, but also understand that it’s a game that can’t be won.  Slim, Chic & Savvy women love to play games that can be won.

In order to feel beautiful, you must create a beauty mindset that personalizes what beauty means to you and not what you see on the cover of Vogue.

In the School of Self-image, members create their own definitions of beauty, including aspects like: physical, intellectual, spiritual, and mental.

For one client, her definition was:

“Beauty is taking great care of myself.  Beauty is walking into a room and not caring about what others think, but caring about them.  Beauty is taking the time to look my best. Beauty is feeding my body with beautiful foods and my mind with beautiful thoughts.  Beauty is celebrating life.”

In creating her personal definition of beauty, she began to feel it in a very different way than before she began her School of Self-image journey. The result?  She met an awesome guy and landed her dream job.

And that’s how to play the beauty game.

Step 4:  Visualize Beauty.

Buddha said, “What you think, you become.”  Are you thinking beauty?

Rumi said, “What you seek is seeking you.”  Are you seeking beauty?

Your thoughts and intentions are creating your life.

The great news is that in any moment, you can focus on things that align with your desires. The bad news is that if you allow your life to run wild, life will happen to you in ways that you may not want.

Forget about appearances, if you show up to a room thinking ugly thoughts and focusing on your perceived shortcomings, you are undeniably restricting yourself from enjoying a beautiful experience.

The choice is yours in what you believe, see, and feel.

Look around. Beauty is everywhere. Are your eyes open enough to see it? Is your heart open to appreciate it?

Look in the mirror.  Beauty is staring right back at ya.

Step #5:  Have a Love Affair with Life.

A woman in love is a beautiful thing.  But a woman in love with life?  Pure magic.

When you fall in love with life, you fall in love with yourself. And when that happens, you will no longer crave validation from others or need them to make you feel a certain way.

You will feel beauty resonate from within you and you will no longer need to hear others tell you that you are.

Women who practice self-love are rare and exotic creatures in a society that is constantly comparing and seeking reassurance. This rarity can bring such glow, freshness and beautiful magnetism to a stale world that has a tendency to conform.

Part 2 of your Beauty Manifesto will be whisked off to your inbox next week.

In Love & Beauty,

Tonya