Do You Feel Too Conventional (aka Boring)?

Bonjour and welcome to the French Kiss Life podcast, where women learn to live with passion, style, and learn to live with joie de vivre in their everyday life. I'm Tonya Leigh, your hostess. Let's get started.

Hello, hello everyone, and welcome to this week's podcast, where I have a very serious question for you. Do you ever feel like you are too conventional or boring? If so, I think you're gonna love what I have to share with you today, because I have a belief that there is not one human that comes into the world intending to be a boring person. If you think about babies, we come into the world curious and excited and emotional and we are just, by nature, passionate creatures.

And yet, I feel that we are trained out of that state of being, and my whole intention is to retrain you back into that state. That woman who is alive, who has a zest for life, who is passionate. Who, when she walks into the room, she brings an energy that is contagious. And because I have been the most boring girl in the room, I can tell you that it is possible. It is possible to tap back into that.

Let me start with one of my favorite quotes by Rumi. He said, "With passion pray. With passion make love. With passion, eat and drink and dance and play. Why look like a dead fish in this ocean of God?" I'm gonna give you two lists, and I want you to really feel into your body and ask yourself which list makes your heart flutter with excitement, and which list makes you feel a bit, dare I say, bored. So, here's list one. Stepping off the plane onto foreign soil. Learning to tango. Having ecstatic sex. Playing with your dog. Wearing beautiful lingerie. Dancing the night away with your besties. Taking daily action towards a dream. Now, here's list two. Paying the bills. Doing the laundry. Binge watching TV. Eating low-quality foods. Devouring self-help books. Working 60+ hours a week in a job you hate. Dreaming of your most fabulous life and doing absolutely nothing about creating it.

Yeah, thought so. I will put money on the table that your 90-year-old self is fist pumping and holding her champagne in the air to list A, and as for list B, she's yawning and rolling her eyes. I remember the exact moment when I realized that I was a conventional and boring woman. I was sitting at a table in the south of France, surrounded by an eclectic group of passionate Europeans, and a gentleman turned to me and he asked, "So, what do you do?" I went on to tell him that I was a mom, I was a nurse, and I liked exercising. He looked at me like I was a poor example of a human being. He then said, "No, I'm not talking about the roles you play in life, but what do you do that you're passionate about?" I had no idea, but that hot Italian man lit a fire under my fess, and I returned home on a quest to live more passionately and to never ever, ever be the most boring individual at a table ever again.

You see, women who French kiss life live passionately, artfully, and well and loathe the mundane. And being conventional? Mes non. When you look up the definition of conventional, here's what you'll find. "Ordinary, rather than different or original. Regular and typical." Darling, your soul is not regular or ordinary, but many women have chosen ... Be living a conventional life because of one reason. It's way more acceptable. Also known as, the easy way out. That's why living an extraordinary life can seem so difficult, because you can feel so alone and alienated. And I'm not gonna lie, it takes a lot of intention and attention. Turns out, living a conventional life is a pretty mindless existence, but it's hard on the soul. It's time to take back the reins of your life, and it starts by understanding this. You can't expect your conventional family and friends to understand your desire to, let's say, travel, or to work three days a week, or write a book, or buy flowers every few days, or wear black leather to your cousin's wedding, or ... Insert any wild desire that you have into this equation.

It's not other people's job to understand and accept you. That is all yours, my dear. Personally, I tired a long time ago of being the good girl and doing the things I thought I should do. And what did it get me? Other than feeling unfulfilled, I was crowned "Miss Boring." Life never felt like such a struggle than when I was saying yes to everyone else and no to myself. So, I would love for you to answer these three questions. Number one. What are you currently doing in your life that deserves a no? Number two. What do you need to say yes to to shake up your conventional world? And number three. How can you make your ordinary daily routines more exciting and intentional? Because let's face it, there's still laundry to do, bills to pay, and kids to feed. But how you do them can make all of the difference in the world.

Now, your 90-year-old self just toasted with a glass of champagne and said, "Let's do it." I would love to hear from you. Head over to tonyaleigh.com and visit the blog and leave me a comment. In fact, you can answer the three questions that I just posed to you. I'm off to book tickets for Paris and pick up some Veuve Clicquot for dinner. Who ever said that Wednesday nights cannot be spectacular? I hope you have a beautiful, passionate, and completely unconventional week. And I look forward to talking with you really, really soon. Cheers.